If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
