halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize