Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
