Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
