went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
50% drunk capacity currently
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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