It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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