When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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