I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
