I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
