remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
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