He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
