dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
