You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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