just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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