I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
