Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
