like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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