just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize