And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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