Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize