I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
