My sheets look like a crime scene.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
