I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
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I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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