I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
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you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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