that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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