I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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