I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Vodka?
Forever.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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