i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
