so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
