Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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