i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
birth control should be required to get into college
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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