with your own penis?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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