Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
