at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
birth control should be required to get into college
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
