she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
