I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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