Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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