i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
