Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
