Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize