I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
