how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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