I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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