i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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