Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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