Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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