i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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