WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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