My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
