Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
