My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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