i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
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And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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