the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
