I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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