friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
