How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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