i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
