...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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