He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
