all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
