When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
