Screwed.edu
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
