I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
