FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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