I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
