I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
