come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
