You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Someone shit on the floor
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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